I told Arthur when were started dating never to buy me a gift that needed to be plugged in. I was talking about things like irons and microwaves. For some strange reason, those don’t say gift to me. I will admit that I changed my mind and asked for a fancy sewing machine. Once.

Anyway, I thought this was pretty funny. It’s from an email from Ace Hardware with gift suggestions for Mother’s Day.

Okay, I guess the wind chimes aren’t so bad. The planters are cutting it close because (a) they’re from a hardware store and (b) ugly. But the paint?! What kind of gift is that?

“Happy Mother’s Day, Mom. And make sure you don’t fall off the ladder.”

If the paint comes with the painter, that’s another thing altogether.