The Man Decorator is back with some Father’s Day gift ideas

There are only three things you really need to know when it comes to buying a Father’s day gift.¬† Bigger. Louder. Faster. (If it can be dangerous or explosive, all the better.)¬† It’s easy.¬† Whenever an option presents itself, go for one of those adjectives. In the best of all worlds, go for all three.

iPods (in all their variations) are very popular. “But they’re small!” you say. True enough, but man rules means you should select the one with the most gigs.¬† When it comes to actually listening to the music, the same rules apply.¬† You might think, for example, that this unit from JBL (a highly respected audio manufacturer) would be a good choice.

No, no, no. Way too small. Sure, it plays music, and probably sounds good, and it won’t disturb your home decor, but Man decorators don’t care about that. Here’s a much better solution. It’s much bigger and louder.

See? These speakers, from Avante Garde Acoustics are so enormous, they are the decor. Perfect.

Here’s another example. Say you enjoy the fine flavors of food cooked outdoors.¬† Here’s a charming and beautifully designed charcoal grill from Eva Solo.

Nice lines, stainless, well-thought out, unobtrusive, modern, etc. In other words, all wrong.¬† Here’s the grill he really wants:

This baby from Cookers and Grills is the real deal. Big enough for a whole hog. And surely, you can find some space in your back yard for it. Make sure you get a trailer hitch for your car, too.

Fathers tend to be responsible for outdoor maintenance. Maybe you’d think he’d appreciate a nice new rake to help keep the yard beautiful. Here’s a handsome adjustable rake from Smith & Hawken.

Think that’s a good choice?¬† Mais non, mon ami. Not when other more obnoxious options await.¬† Here’s something that has the added bonus of a) being really loud, b) having a hot muffler upon which you could burn your fingers, and c) grossly expanding your carbon footprint.

I present to you the shindaiwa EB 802 backpack leafblower.

The fact that it’s part of shindaiwa’s professional series gives it even more street cred.

All of the above are excellent choices.¬† However, I think I’ve found the ultimate Father’s day gift, mostly because it’s both potentially dangerous and completely useless for everyday life.¬†¬† It’s the Sabre Bleacher Reacher Semi-Automatic T-shirt cannon.

So what if it’s $3,500? Your father (or spouse) will be the envy of the neighborhood. And the county. Maybe even the state. And who can put a price tag on that ?

Happy gift hunting. If you find something you think fits the Man Decorator (r) gift giving style, please let us know.